WHY AM I DEAF?
 Justin Osmond
 February 26, 1998

Anyone who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how. So if I don't know why I am deaf, then how am I placed in such a condition void of sound? Was I punished and chastised for something I did? Did it happen because it just happened? Should I just accept the fact that I am deaf because people say I am special?
 

Why does my deafness make me special? How can it when it has caused me to have heartache, pain, challenges, and sore trials such as a lack of communication, creating a barrier between others and myself! I though a kind loving Heavenly Father wouldn't allow such a burden to come upon me. Doesn't he want me to hear and understand the beautiful sweet music which purges our hearts and causes a mighty spiritual change? What about the still small voice? How can I hear its voice if I can't hear?

 
I've learned that what I hear and what I can't hear doesn't make that much of difference because it's not what I hear, but what I feel. Helen Keller said that the most beautiful thing in all the world cannot be seen, nor heard, nor tasted, nor touched, but can only be felt in the
heart. My eyes become enlightened and my heart opens to receive the mysteries of God when I start to understand the meaning of my soul and I see through spiritual eyes. Hearing is a means to listening, but feeling is a means to understanding. After understanding cometh conviction, thus providing strength to the meaning of my soul and an answer to the reasoning of why I'm deaf.

 
Who am I to say that God should prevent me from being deaf or to blame a just God who has experienced pain the same? As you overcome the world and conquer the flesh, the weaknesses, problems, trials, challenges, tests, and impairments become strengths and the greatest blessings you could ever receive. My father taught me that my greatest weaknesses can become my greatest blessings. I know that to be so true. As Jesus Christ said, " I give unto you weaknesses so that my works may be manifested in the eyes of all men.

 
An x-priest asked me once why I was wearing hearing aides. I responded  by saying that it helps me hear better. He then told me that Satan gave me my deafness because of something I did wrong. I replied back, " Why  are you wearing glasses?" He responded saying to help him see better.  I then went on by saying, " So I guess Satan punished you for something
you did wrong.' ....... Anyway, that is not the point. The point is that God does not punish people for something they do wrong. If he did,  I wouldn't have much of a body left! ha ha!! He gives us our own bags of rocks and problems for our own personal progression and for our own good and experience, to make us reach and strain and obtain our greatest potential which God has so lovingly offered for our own benefit. Once I understand the purposes of God and his plan, then I can glory in tribulation, pain, and suffering as those who can best suffer, best can endure.

 
Not only do we pass through tribulation, but tribulation must sometimes pass through us as it is given to us and there is no way out of it, but by perseverance and patience and achieving the process of sanctification, thus removing the obstacles that stands in the way of our progression. Very rarely are we free from challenges and trials. My father also taught me, " If there's nothing you can do about it, why worry about it?", but make the most of it while you're at it! Is the pain and struggle worth it? I believe very strongly that all weaknesses can be overcome. It comes from a willingness and desire and a mind with unshaken faith. What is inevitable can be possible! Who ever said it was impossible? With God, all things are possible!

 
So what's my reason for being deaf? Because my Heavenly Father loves me! I believe that I chose to be deaf since we all still had our free agency in our pre-mortal existence. So if I chose to be deaf, who am I to even question why I'm deaf and to blame God for something that I had already decided and chosen myself? I feel that Heavenly Father laid down the plan that would be most suitable for me here in this life.

 
A plan that would determine my destination and purpose of reaching my greatest potential in life. We all passed our first estate as we chose our Father's plan, but we also chose to follow
our own individual plan which was also laid out for us. According to my free choice and Heavenly Father's offer, help and suggestion, if I decided to do that which would benefit me the most and qualify me to the  level of exaltation, my deafness is part of my purpose in helping God's work be manifested in the eyes of all men! It gives me a grand opportunity to help deaf people in ways that other's can't. We are in a bilingual service project here on earth by helping, building, supporting, and blessing each other's lives by overcoming our weaknesses and problems.

 
Deafness is not a weakness, it is my greatest blessing. It helps me become humble and forthright. Deafness is not an impairment, it is a contentment. It is a problem only if you make it so. Everyone has a weakness. It may be a spiritual or a physical weakness. Our spiritual
strengths can lead to physical strengths as is makes our impairments becomes enlightened and gives us hope that Heavenly Father will lead and guides us as well as give us an assurance that our Savior has experienced the same pain and hardship that we have gone through.

 
I have learned that deafness is a greater challenge than blindness, because deafness separates people from people whereas blindness separates people from things. It's not that I lack understanding. It is a lack of communication some instances. Communication is one of
the most vital, essential, and single most important activities in which the rate of progression accelerates. Any form of communication is a vital means to forming unification and mutual strength. Closeness is a matter of communication, communication is a matter of understanding,
and understanding begins with love.

 
Deafness has given me the opportunity to journey in a brand new atmosphere and in a unique and peculiar world. I'm in a bilingual world where I experience two different surroundings: the deaf world and the hearing world. Just like no man can serve two masters. Does that mean
I can't serve two worlds? Can't I be a part of both? Can I keep an eye single to one world and still assist and help in the other? Who am I do be deaf and hearing at the same time? Who am I?

 
Finding the meaning of my soul can lead to the question, what is the meaning of my deafness? Such an answer would expose a major part of my  role and duty here in life and I would have a better understanding of who I really am and what my calling is here in mortality.


 







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